Restless Saturday evenings

This is how I spend my Saturday evenings: I read random blogs by clicking "next blog." It's fascinating how we can connect with people from many walks of life.

My Fabulous 27-year-old Bucket List:

Another year has passed, so here is my 27 things I plan to accomplish this year. I pretty much accomplished most things from my 26-year-old Bucket List: I bought a new car, completed my CDCs and I drank sangria in Barcelona. I look forward to the amazing year to come.

1. Count my blessings
2. Be a loving daughter, auntie
3. Start a Thrift Savings Plan
4. Create emergency savings fund: $10,000
5. Run a 5k, 10k marathon in Norway, Greece, Hungary
6. Complete 6 courses in International Relations for Masters
7. Embrace a healthier lifestyle
8. Learn Tigrinya
9. Enjoy great friends, wine, food
10. Get a Master’s in International Relations in 2 years
11. Make BTZ
12. Nurture my mind, body, spirit
13. Learn conversational German
14. Never forget my passion of writing
15. Visit the ancient ruins in Greece
16. Run at least 3 times a week
17. TRAVEL, TRAVEL, TRAVEL
18. Study for AFOQT and begin Officer package
19. Update this BLOG
20. Plan a Caribbean getaway!
21. Keep in touch with the ones I love
22. Drink sangria in Spain, cappuccinos in Italy
23. Volunteer, get involved in the community
24. Be more SPIRITUALLY inclined
25. Soak up the sun, somewhere in the Mediterranean
26. Smile every day, laugh until it hurts
27. Try an extreme sport (white-water rafting, skydiving)

The Big 2-6

In one week I will be turning 26, and I’m starting to feel OLD , I mean older. As I reflect on the frustrations, joys, and blessings of the past year it’s time for me to update my bucket list. I accomplished many of the personal goals I set for 25:

I paid off all my debt and student loans
I’m financially stable
I finally got my driver’s license!

As I begin an amazing journey in the Air Force I’ve decided to include some professional goals for the upcoming year.

So here it is:

My Fabulous 26-year-old Bucket List:

1. Count my blessings
2. Be a loving daughter, auntie, girlfriend, friend
3. Start a Thrift Savings Plan
4. Buy a new car
5. Run a 5k, 10k marathon
6. Finish my CDC’s ASAP
7. Embrace a healthier lifestyle
8. Learn everything I can about my job
9. Enjoy great friends, wine, food
10. Get a Master’s in International Relations, 2 years
11. Take time to reflect in nature
12. Nurture my mind, body, spirit
13. Learn conversational German
14. Never forget my passion of writing
15. Visit the ancient ruins in Greece
16. Run at least 3 times a week
17. TRAVEL, TRAVEL, TRAVEL
18. Try something new and spontaneous
19. Update this BLOG
20. Plan a Caribbean getaway!
21. Keep in touch with the ones I love
22. Drink sangria in Spain, cappuccinos in Italy
23. Volunteer, get involved in the community
24. Be more SPIRITUALLY inclined
25. Soak up the sun, somewhere in the Mediterranean
26. Smile every day, laugh until it hurts

Willkommen in Deutschland

Yes, it's official I'm headed to Germany! More to come......

Finally at Peace

I don't know why I've been putting off writing this blog for so long. Writing has been a therapeautic escape for me but for some reason I couldn't write. But this morning, I had the knawing urge to write.

I'm currently sitting in a Starbucks on Keesler Air Force base deep in thought and reflecting on the past year. For the first time in months I can truly say I'm happy and at peace.

For many of you who know, this year has been totally transformative. I went from being unemployed, frustrated, stuck in a dead-end job to making the best decision in my life by joining the United States Air Force. This decision was not easy; it took alot of patience, prayer and uneasiness to finally take the leap. After eight-weeks of military training, away from my loved ones and friends I realized I need to appreciate the many blessings I already have in my life.

I give most of this credit to my loving boyfriend who inspired me to join the service. I've seen through him that with hardwork, perserverance and motivation anything is possible.

I feel like my life is starting to begin and I'm excited for a promising future in the Air Force.

Basic training!!!

Hey guys,

I'm officially enlisted in the greatest Air Force in the world (straight from the brochure). I'm really excited for this new journey. Pumping iron and running to prepare myself physically for 8-1/2 weeks of intense training. More to come.....

Ask an Arab

Why I heart NPR: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=123806794. Yay, to video. Some of these people ask pretty dumb, silly questions.

Why not ask an African??? I would have alot to say.

Loving thy self

Current book I am reading: The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel

I'm learning how to capture the love within myself and let it grow infinitely. I can't believe I am reading a new age self-help book. But its making me more positive.

More snow, I can't take it anymore

I officially survived the "Storm of the Century" in D.C. In the five days I was trapped in the house I gained five pounds, discovered the whole 'Jersey Show' craze and took many long baths. What is it about the snow that makes people want to binge eat?

I finally went for a run yesterday, only to be peeved by all the dog s*** un-melted by the snow. Seriously, people c'mon. Ah, Capitol Hill.

Re: Re: Re:Re:Re: Help Me!!!

Ok, ok I believe you. It must be you. But what shade of pink, hot pink or bubblegum pink? When do you expect to pay me back because I have alot of bills to pay: cell phone, rent, Victoria Secret card. What date do you plan to pay me back. I just want to make sure because you have burned me in the past. You still owe for the time I bailed you out. But I love you sis and I don't want you to struggle.

love u.

Re:Re:Re:Re Help Me!!!!

pink

Re:Re:Re: Help Me!!!!!

I'm going to call your cell first because I saw on Oprah about Nigerian email scams. I hope this is not one of them. If this is truly Eden, please tell me what your favorite color is.

Re:Re: Help Me!!!!

Thank you so much for your concern towards my situation here,Please i want you to send me the money via Western Union Money Transfer asap so i can pay my bills and leave,you can send me the money to my name the hotel address below,

Receivers Names:Eden Andom

Receivers Address: 328 Mile End Road

City- London

Country- UK

Zip Code- E1 4NS

Please once you are back from Western Union kindly scan me the receipt and also write out the MTCN i will be waiting for your help ASAP

Reply: Help Me!!!!

OMFG, Eden. Are you ok??? I am soo deeply worried about your situation. I will send you the money as soon as possible. How could something like this happen. Did you fight back? I would have jump kicked those slimy scumbags in the face and suckerpunched them in the stomach. Did you get a chance to report this to the police, maybe they could have helped. Why didn't you call me oh wait, nvm, the telephone lines got dc. Was there a catastrophic storm in London? If so, I hope you are ok. I am sending the 1,200 pounds asap, but what is that amount in US dollars. I guess I will google it, since you are upset. Get some rest and be assured your dear sister will help you in your dire time of need. Afterall, that is what family is for.

Well Wishes,
Mary

Help Me!!!!

Great way to start my morning. I got this frantic email from my "sister" who travelled to London, since the last time I spoke to her (last night). Check out my reply email.

Hello,

i am in a hurry writing you this message, sorry that i did not inform u before my urgent travelling to London ,I had a trip to London which is suppose to last for just three days but unfortunately for me all my money got stolen at the hotel where i lodged due to a robbery incident that happened in the hotel.I had been so restless since last night because i have been without any money moreover the Hotel's telephone lines here got disconnected by the robbers and they are trying to get them fixed back i have access to only emails at the library because my mobile cant work here so i didnt bring it along,please i want you to help me with money so please can you send me 1,200 Pounds or any amount you can quickly send so when i return back i would refund it back to you as soon as i get home, I am so confused right now and dont know what to do, I had been to the embassy and police they only ask me to write a statement,Please you can send it through Western Union Money Transfer so i will get it immediately its sent,let me know if you can help m so i can give you the hotel address and name where to send me the money to me today,i will be waiting to hear from you,Thank you and God bless.

Best Regards

Eden

Dear AP stylebook

Dear AP style book,

Why is website, Web site. It really doesn't make sense. Nobody else (non-journalist folk) spells it that way. So why do we again? I was just wondering.

Sincerely,
Mary

My Bucket List for 25

While speaking with my roommate I recently had an Oprah epiphany (as corny as it may sound). She drafted a list of 29 things to be happy, healthy and wise. This inspired me to write some of my own goals as I reach my quarter-century mark.

I wanted a visual representation of my goals so I can hold myself accountable and cross them off as I go. So here it is:

Mary's Ultimate 25 things to do while 25 list

1. Love myself
2. Make smart financial decisions, putting my needs before my wants
3. Apply to graduate school/officer training school
4. Pay remaining $3,455 of my student loan
5. Be a loving, mature, secure girlfriend
6. Be a loving, nurturing, daughter, aunt and friend
7. Get my license!
8. Blog at least once a month
9. Freelance an article, feature or opinion
10. Stretch my mind by attending a lecture/speaker series
11. Run every day, rain or shine
12. Dance my heart out
13. Smile every day
14. Make me way somehow down to the Caribbean
15. Save 10 percent of every paycheck
16. Volunteer at Walter Reed
17. Treat myself to Thai food
18. Try a new food/immerse myself in a new culture
19. Be spiritually inclined
20. Write, write, write
21. Read a thought-provoking book/or watch documentary every month
22. Laugh until my stomach hurts
23. Speak my mind, exercise my voice
24. Be grateful and appreciative
25. Embrace the randomness/spontaneity of life

It's been a long time

Man, I can't remember the last time I've updated this blog. It seems like forever. Still plugging away on my grind and hustle. Currently infactuated with melancholy
90's music (Fiona Apple), The Real World DC and internet conspiracy theories on how Jay-Z and Lady Gaga worship the devil.

Things I'm not too crazy about: 5-cent tax on plastic bags, apartment scams on Craigslist and unresponsive miltary recruiters.....

Postponing Chicago's violence

Here is an excerpt from my final piece from the Academy of Alternative Journalism. To read more go to: http://aan.org/aaj2009/campers/user/maryandom/

On a mild summer July day, Jermaine walks me through his CeaseFire beat of West Garfield Park— a place dotted with foreclosed homes and scraggly fenced lots. Less than a decade ago West Garfield was dubbed one of the deadliest neighborhoods to be a kid, where Chicago children were twice as likely to die from accidents, abuse or shootings.

Jermaine watches everything, he knows everyone and his phone serves as a hotline for residents who tip him off to simmering conflicts.

“What’s good, lil homie?” he says to a towering guy with furry cornrow braids who doesn’t crack a smile. He strolls past an overgrown weed lot littered with trash, and past his former elementary school.

Walking with Jermaine through the neighborhood, it’s clear that he’s something of a local celebrity, partly due to a cameo appearance he made on the History Channel’s “Gangland” documentary, which chronicled some of America’s most notorious street gangs, but also because of his former occupation as a drug dealer.

He waves to the grandmothers of the neighborhood who smile sweetly from their porches. One chubby kid pounces on his back and he wrestles him to the ground.

“Illy, Illy. I saw you on TV yesterday,” one kid clamors. The others chime in: “Me too!. Me too!”

“Everybody knows me,” Jermaine says, showing flashes of his old drug dealer bravado.. “My senior year Googie [a fellow dealer] and I brought a bundle of $1,000 bills, tied it with a rubber band and threw it around like a football.

It is the sort of over-the-top exploit that drug dealing heroes are made of, especially in a part of town where few people hold regular 9-to-5 jobs.

“I used to love selling drugs,” Jermaine confesses. .“If that’s what all your friends are doing, you’re gonna do it too,” he says. “In like one hour I made $90. I was happy.”

He rolls up his shirt sleeve revealing a tattoo mapped out on his biceps, with a BH.

“It stands for Bogus Hustlers or BraveHarts,” he says of the loosely-formed gang in his neighborhood that gained him notoriety.

At the age of 16, or 17 Jermaine was a well-known drug dealer and a BraveHart. He dropped out of Marshall High School in his senior year to focus on making money. He says he owned three cars: a Lumina, a LeSabre and a ’93 Grand Prix. The rides and his flashy wardrobe earned him the street name “Illy Mac” because he says the girls would swoon over him.

He is frank about the entrepreneurial attitude of the local hustler. “It’s not a 9-5 regular job; you can’t get fired, it doesn’t matter if you’re late,” he says. “You wake up, sell some drugs, get some liquor, get a girl, and go to the club. And the next day you do it all over again.”

But the life had its perils. Early in 2005 his friend Tron was shot to death. A couple months later another friend, Tron Bone, was killed, a couple blocks of where Jermaine and I walk today. Like many murders in Chicago, they appeared as a two sentence mentiosn in the local papers. “To this day I don’t know what happened,” he says.

Yet he maintains that there was no life-changing epiphany that made him turn his back on the hustler’s life. He simply says he saw a way out when an older, ex-felon named Reginald “Akeem” Berry gave him a job handing out flyers for CeaseFire.

“It feels crazy because a couple years back I was into this violence,” he says. “Sometimes I feel like shoot’em, fuck’em I don’t know them, but I gotta think that ain’t me no more.”


***
A white Oldsmobile makes a slow turn into the courtyard of the elementary school. It circles around twice. Ten minutes later a familiar fixture: a blue and white squad car follows the same route. Jermaine fixes his eyes on the car.

“We don’t mess with the cops. PERIOD,” he says. “People don’t want to talk to the cops.”

Once the Chicago police are called on the scene of a shooting, Jermaine and other violence interrupters wait in the background. Distancing themselves from the police, gives them a certain level of credibility they wouldn’t have otherwise.

It’s something of a high wire act, being a violence interrupter. “I’m not a police officer,” Jermaine says. “I don’t have a vest. I’m putting my life on the line.”

A day in Ceasefire for Jermaine could be a “good day or a fucked up day” he says. “Sometimes there is a war going on and you have to jump in the middle. It’s hard to tell a man- not to shoot at someone after he was shot at.”

On a traffic light post, a red CeaseFire sticker reads: Stop. Killing. People- East Garfield with a hotline number to call.

A scrawny older black man and a heavyset black woman wearing a gray miniskirt are screaming at the top of their lungs. With his face two inches from hers, the man calls the woman a bitch. At this point, three young kids crowd around the commotion.

“See this is what I’m talking about,” Jermaine says. He stands around waiting, hoping he doesn’t have to step in. Luckily nothing happens. The woman storms off. “Old stupid son of a bitch,” she hollers. Jermaine steps back.

“If a man is fighting his woman,” he says. “He don’t want anybody in his business.”

Despite his work with CeaseFire, Jermaine admits that it’s difficult staying on the straight and narrow path. Since CeaseFire went through its funding issues with the state, he has been scraping by financially, but resisting the temptation to sell drugs. Instead he works a part-time job at a printing press on the West Side specializing in R.I.P memorialized T-shirts, obituaries and flyers. He thinks about his meager paycheck, mentally calculating how much it will be: $8 an hour, 25 hours a week, he admits it isn’t much to live on.

“I’m ashamed,” he says. “But don’t put that in the story.” He mumbles something under his breath about “making more on the block.”

He still hangs out on the block with his unreformed friends and still manages to dress fashionably (Coogi brand jeans and polo with matching rainbow Jordans) except he doesn’t gang bang or sell drugs, even if he understands why many people do.

“Some people can’t wait two weeks to get paid,” he says adamantly. “They wanna get paid now.”

Although, Jermaine has long given up his hustling he still speaks with a gang-banger’s machismo about growing up on the tough West Side. When comparing other urban areas gripped by violence such as: South East D.C. or East Baltimore, he brags, “Chicago is a fucked up place,” he says. “They ain’t got nothing on us. If I were there and I gang-banged I’d take over that city.”

But in more reflective moments, he thinks about how far he’s come. CeaseFire may not provide the creature comfort or the status that gang-banging and drug dealing once afforded him, but it has given him perspective on the futility of his former life. “Being out in the street you think you know everything,” he chuckles. “But you really don’t know shit.”

Another Chicago student victim of violence

A cover story in The New York Times today highlighted the Chicago Public School’s effort to curb youth violence. Instead of a traditional approach, Ron Huberman, chief officer of public schools is using data analysis to predict and pinpoint potential victims. The city also announced a $30 million project targeting 1,200 high school students identified as high-risk victims of gun violence, providing them with full-time mentors and part-time jobs.

I was disturbed to read about Derrion Albert, the 16-year-old Chicago high school student beaten to death with wood planks by South Side gang members. The school year has barely started and three young people have already died. Again Chicago is in the national spotlight not for the Olympics but for its numbing violence.

Here are few recent headlines from the Chicago Tribune:

•Boy, 16, found dead on Far South Side
•Cops: Teen stabbed mother's boyfriend
•What (Not) To Do With $38M In Violence Prevention Funding Slain student, 17, is mourned
•Chicago school violence: District rushes to put anti-violence plan in place as gunfire claims new victims


This summer I had the amazing opportunity to spend some time with the folks on the frontline of Chicago’s violence problem: Carl Bell, a well-respected psychiatrist, Tio Hardiman, director of CeaseFire, an anti-violence coalition and Jermaine Rhodes, a 21-year-old CeaseFire violence interrupter.

Jermaine, the young man who I interviewed for this piece asked me why I wanted to write a story about his West Side neighborhood.

“Your story, you know. It’s important,” I told him. “The world needs to hear it.” Seconds later, I felt stupid for my shallow and idealistic answer.

Even after I wrote my story Jermaine and I knew his life wouldn't change drastically because of it. The ‘hood would still be the ‘hood and he would still be wrapped up in it.

“Well tell the world this,” Jermaine said. “Chicago is a fucked up place,” Those words hit me in my gut and I remember walking past scraggly lots with worn men hunched over on milk crates. I knew what Jermaine was talking about.